My wife and I recently joined the ranks of mini-van owners after years and vehicles of avoidance. The mini-van seemed to us the final concession. Despite four kids and a dog, we held on as long as we could to more stylish, gas guzzling people movers. We are now officially not cool ( no comments please from those who believe that bus left the station years ago....).
Nevertheless, I have to confess, we love the van. It's comfortable, has lots of room, gets decent gas mileage, and from the kids' perspective has the one thing that matters in any room or vehicle - satellite television and the screens that go with it. In fact recent conversations with our kids got me thinking about how much home environments influence all of us, especially our children. As we prepare for the return of students to school, I thought it was a good time for all of us to think about how our home environments impact the lives of our children.
While together with friends whose children are approximately the ages of our children, my wife and I overheard a conversation one of our elementary aged daughters was having with her friend. Our friends have a corvette, and their daughter told our daughter that she was going to have a corvette when she got older. Without hesitation, and very proudly, our daughter said she was going to have a VAN.... when the laughter subsided, I started thinking about how much children reflect their parents and their homes.
A colleague of mine often says that adults are always modeling behavior whether they realize it or not. Our children mimic us and develop much of their belief system and value system based on what they see us do, and not what they hear us say - "Do as I say, not as I do" rarely works. Often times I meet with frustrated parents who are looking for a third party to give them some ideas as to how they can assist their children. From my daughter's desire for a van, I was reminded that the things we do, and the people our children observe us to be, determine to a large extent what and who our children will be.
A few years ago I was at a retirement party for a teacher who had spent more than forty years in the classroom. During his retirement party he said, "In 41 years of teaching I never met a student I didn't like where I also didn't like his parents". The comment was facetious, but with the ring of truth. We're always modeling. In humorist Dave Barry's list of life lessons he's learned he says "A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)" What a great reminder to all of us that how we treat others, and the behaviors we model are not just important for us, but for those who depend on us.
As we prepare for the start of another new school year it's a great reminder for all of us that the behavior we model is destined to be repeated.
By the way, I told my daughter that she shouldn't limit herself...there's no reason she can't have a van and a corvette if that's what she wants...
The Principal's Office is a blog created by Tim Bearden, Chief Academic Officer and Upper School Director at Detroit Country Day School, an independent school in Beverly Hills, MI. While content will sometimes be specific to Country Day, the majority of posts are specific in scope to issues concerning teaching and learning in the 21st century.
