Hug It Out

Today at our district wide administrative council meeting, one of our principals told the story of a 6th grader coming up to him in the hallway and asking for a hug. I don't know if the boy really needed one, or was playing around, but he got what he asked for. After the story was told, I was asked facetiously if that happens often at the high school. It doesn't, but the world might be a better place if it did.

Whether it's through hugging or some other kind of human warmth, all people need support. At our recent Challenge Day event, the facilitators suggested that people need twelve hugs a day to function at their highest level. If that's true, I'm guessing we have a lot of students, and a lot of adults as well, who aren't getting their daily quota. At Challenge Day, students challenged each other to give out twelve hugs a day. Whether it's through hugs or other acts of kindness, the world's a better place when we reach out to each other.

There are literal hugs and figurative ones. Sometimes a kind word, a random act of kindness, or even a smile of greeting can make a person's day. So often people are too busy and too self absorbed to even notice those around them. One of the most common occurrences of this phenomenon is found in traffic jams, and is one of my pet peeves. On those days when, because of construction or a traffic accident, the expressway resembles the parking lot at Wal-Mart on the day after Thanksgiving, simple courtesy is required. One driver lets another squeeze into a line of traffic, and then waits for that simple acknowledgement - the thank you wave. I don't know about anyone else, but it drives me crazy when I let another driver "take cuts", and I don't get that simple acknowledging wave...I'm convinced it drives people to road rage.

It is so simple to show appreciation for others. A wave, a gesture, an email, a simple nod of the head...sometimes anything works. I'm convinced that some of the most significant things we can do to acknowledge others have lasting impact. Using someone's name when speaking to them, a hand on the shoulder, a hug...we never know when those gestures can lift someone from the gloom of despair.

Today's three "R's" of education are different than they used to be. Today we emphasize "relationships, rigor, and relevance". The most important of those three is, without a doubt, relationships. One of my good friends, South principal Al Diver, is fond of saying, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care". Truer words were never spoken in education. Today more than ever, our students live with some tough situations, and many families are facing some tough times. The greatest cure for those ailments, and the most important step to establishing relationships, is genuine kindness.

Maybe the best secret of Challenge Day is that getting the hug, the smile, or the nod makes you feel really good, but giving it makes you feel great. To quote one of my favorite television characters, Entourage's Ari Gold, "When in doubt, hug it out".