Parent / Teacher Communication

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." -  Mark Twain

 

I've always loved this quote attributed to Twain, as it so aptly describes the evolution we go through in our perceptions of our parents. Young people, particularly adolescents, often fail to appreciate the wisdom and knowledge that comes from their parents. This youthful perception is sometimes extended to all adults, including their teachers.  As both teachers and parents must deal with the commonly held adolescent belief that all adults are clueless, it can be hugely important to join forces in a positive way in the best interests of students. One of the most successful approaches is when parents and teachers knowingly work together to ensure student responsibility and accountability. Putting the responsibility on young people to handle issues with their teachers teaches them valuable coping lessons that will serve them in future issues that require self-reliance. Nevertheless, not all of a student's issues can be solved by the meeting of student and teacher, and the partnership of parents and teachers becomes essential.

 

I am sometimes asked by parents the proper protocol, and best steps to take in communicating with teachers. Parents sometimes worry that if they voice a concern there will be reprisals for their child. Our teachers are professionals, who are in this profession because of their commitment to young people and their growth, and mutual understanding and trust between parent and teacher can resolve most issues. Please consider the following protocol for optimal resolution of issues:

 

DCDS Problem Solving Protocol

1. Student addresses issue with teacher in a private, personal appointment. This will result in successful outcome in the majority of circumstances.
2. If student and teacher cannot resolve issue, parent makes email or phone contact with the teacher or the student's advisor who can often assist in facilitating a solution. If the situation is emotionally charged, it is recommended that this communication be solely for the purpose of arranging a personal meeting between parent and teacher. Many situations can be resolved by email or phone.
3. Personal meeting between parent and teacher - depending on the circumstances, it may be important to also include the student.
4. If a personal meeting with the teacher occurs, and the issue has still not been resolved satisfactorily,  the next step for parents should be contact with the relevant department chair, dean, or school director. Administrative assistance should be an avenue for resolution that occurs after other steps have been exhausted.

Tips, and Potential Pitfalls to Avoid:

1. Teachers appreciate students who advocate for themselves. That being said, private conversations that are pre-arranged are almost always better than a public or classroom conversation.
2. A cooling off period is almost always beneficial for all. If the situation is emotionally charged, follow the 24 hour rule, and allow for some time to pass so that cool heads can resolve issues.
3. Email can be dangerous for resolving complex issues, as many nuances of communication are lost in these impersonal written communications. Email can be very effective for getting information, communicating absences, arranging appointments and other surface communications. It is advisable not to rely on email for exchanges of a more personal nature. If you are unsure as to whether an email is appropriate for a situation, err on the side of a personal meeting.
4. It is not appropriate or constructive to confront a teacher or administrator about personal student matters in public spaces, or without an appointment. In emergency situations, always visit the academic office first for communication with an administrator who will help facilitate problem solving measures.
5. Successful resolutions do not result from threatening language or behavior. Even if it may not seem so at the time, educators try their best to work in the interest of all students, and are generally compassionate and caring towards young people. If you find it difficult to maintain composure because of the tenor of a meeting, involve an administrator to facilitate or take a cooling off period.

Our teachers, administration and staff are here for you and your children. We want the best possible experience for them, and working together with parents in a positive and constructive way to present a unified team approach to students reinforces the important roles of both school and family. It may even result in students who someday recognize our "growth" in knowledge and intelligence as they gain a more global, adult perspective of the motives of parent and school.

 

If you have any questions about appropriate school contacts and , or strategies to resolve conflicts, please don't hesitate to contact me at Tbearden@dcds.edu, or by phone at 248.430.3696.